Coping With Hostility From Other Co-Workers
A Reader Asks This Question:
I will like to know some ways to cope with hostile behavior that can be unreasonable and unprofessional. There’s a co-worker who will be over the top friendly with me for a few days, but switches her attitude towards me any other day. Her attitude is fickle and strange, but I still was polite and so kind to her. When I receive compliments, she’ll stop talking to me for few days. Also, she’s a temp that’s been there for a long period of time at the company. I have no problems with anyone else and the other way around, but this person became an issue. She had a nasty attitude with me and accused me of doing something that I didn’t even do. She said I threw something on her desk, but I didn’t do this whatsoever. There wasn’t also any proof showing I did anything wrong. She decides to cause a scene by getting smart and nasty with me, but denies that she has no problem once i asked her. She gives me glances or stares, but she will smile in my face like everything is cool. Whenever she needed a favor or help, I was a friend and did what I could do. I’m not mean or conceited, so that isn’t the issue. I didn’t want to get in trouble by saying anything out of order, but i was still upset because she was phony all along. Due to this problem, how do you handle deal with anyone who has an attitude like that at your job?
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4 Responses to Coping With Hostility From Other Co-Workers
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I think its one of the worse things to have problems and hostility in the workplace ! definitley keeping a diary of what is being said etc! is great way to record evidence and a good attorney is really important to achieve success!
Great page,
Thanks, ]
L
You can also document her behavior, but don’t do it at work. Keep a diary at home. Be objective about it, not subjective. Document date, time, who, what, where, when, why, etc. All of that. If someday to need to use it, you’ll have it all written down and you’ll be able to establish her pattern of abuse. Maybe she’ll screw up and do something illegal.
To learn more about what you can do to protect yourself in the workplace, download a copy of Work Laws Exposed.
One word. Ignore. I know it’s easier said than done, but believe me, it works. Don’t let her get to you-it’s exactly what she wants; also don’t confront her. Apparently she never left middle-school.
If you’re ever called into your boss’s office on some unfounded charge by her (or anyone else), ask: "Do you have concrete proof? If so, it’s hearsay, if not, it’s a lie."
She doesn’t count. She doesn’t sign your performance review/direct deposit your check/sign your vacation request. The only person that matters is your supervisor. Try to keep that focus.
I worked with someone like your coworker, and worse-backstabber, obnoxious, arrogent, difficult. Her reputation was known far and very wide. I survived by ignoring her-not because I was afraid of her, but because I figured her attitude was her problem-not mine. People like her don’t have a life outside the workplace. They thrive on creating chaos, dissention and trouble in the workplace.
Also, it helps to find your passion. Find what really makes you smile outside the workplace. Writing, photography, dancing, crafts, the list is endless. Finding your passion(s) will help take the ‘edge’ off of dealing with a toxic person. My passion’s figure skating, and it helped tremendously, in that it gave me something to look forward to-a better environment with nicer people.
Good luck
You do the very best job you can and ignore her behavior. Be professional at all times with her. Continue to do a great job. If she knows she can get to you she will continue her behavior. If you are completely courteous and professional at all times she will move on to someone else who is vulnerable to her antics.
This is never an easy situation, but taking the high road is a good strategy. You can’t control her, but you can determine how you will act. I have seen women and men like her over the years. I hope you are able to neutralize her with your professionalism and courtesy. Good luck!