Sexual Harassment: Can I Flirt With The Receptionist?
A Reader Asks This Question:
How do I flirt with the receptionist at work without it being sexual harassment? The offices are all privately rented but the building has a receptionist.
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2 Responses to Sexual Harassment: Can I Flirt With The Receptionist?
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Here’s what the EEOC says about sexual harassment.
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.
Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.
Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).
The harasser can be the victim’s supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.
Flirting is sexual harassment under these circumstances. The receptionist is in a position where an integral part of her job is being "nice" and receptive – not doing so is juxtaposition to doing a good job. Also, she cannot simply excuse herself from your (potential unwanted) attention, so this is an unbalanced, and therefore inappropriate thought to ponder. If you actually have a REASON (beyond her looks) for liking her, and believe you may have things in common, then why not just have short, regular conversations with her for a few weeks? See if she is willing and interested in engaging in conversation with you. If she is, then on a Thursday you can ask her if she has lunch plans that day, or if she’d like to have lunch some time the next week. This way she has the liberty of saying no straight out, or making an excuse to say no, or accepting. Since you’ve been conversing in a friendly (NOT flirtatious) manner over the weeks, she won’t really be sure if you were just being friendly, or if you liked her. Therefore, no harm, no fowl.
Word to the wise from a former receptionist: We get hit on everyday, and consistently. Flirtatious men abound, and it really gets annoying.